Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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