I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
