I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
God, I missed his penis.
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