so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
