New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
