We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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