The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
