Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
