Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
