the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
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It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
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Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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