Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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