do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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