Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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