So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
