we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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