I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
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Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
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I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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