I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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