I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
