You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
