Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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