none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
