dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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