I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
