i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize