just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
