Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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