The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
