so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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