My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
