I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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