Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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