I want to have your abortion
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
