ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
