So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
