I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
