You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
