sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
