Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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