Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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