take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
