i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
