To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
