Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
