So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
