Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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