after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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