Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
