Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
