omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You pole danced in your parka.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
