You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
