He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
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It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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