You can't motorboat a personality
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
