But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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