so explain again why im purple
no
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
