I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
