Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
