I think i peed on brittanys purse
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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