i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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