kristin has been a bad kristin
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
