Got a toothbrush?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize