Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
