yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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