Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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